Happy Halloween! If your franchise is on this list, then you know all about having rampant mutant fear. You’ve seen the scariest franchises in professional football, baseball, or basketball. Long stretches of watching appalling performances by players so bad they give you goosebumps. The decisions of the Front Office are so shocking that Hollywood is afraid to make a movie about it.
Our survey is based on a formula of what you have done for us lately. Super Bowls or great players on a team 40 years ago don’t carry much weight. We prefer things like recent success. Infamous players and owners. fan support. And the city in which the team is located. There may be other creepy things we make up as we go along.
Introducing, in all their brutality, the Scariest Franchises in sports.
8) The Pittsburgh Pirates
Why are they so scary? Since losing a heartthrob to the Braves in the bottom of the ninth in Game 7 of the 1992 NL Championship Series, the Pirates have yet to have a winning season. 500, but apparently it was all designed to further torture the fanbase. The team’s owners have turned losses into a profitable venture, earning nearly $30 million a year while shedding All-Stars in an effort not to pay them. How creepy.
7) Detroit Lions
Just the fact that they’re playing in Detroit is pretty creepy, isn’t it? I’ve never been there, but I’ve talked to a few people who have (those who made it out alive) and they weren’t very nice to Motor City. This franchise was so bad that it scarred the greatest running back of all time, Barry Sanders, until his early retirement. They also have the current baddest player in the NFL, Ndamukong Suh, who has been fined for illegal hitting multiple times and for the most part refused to apologize, instead receiving fines from the National Football League.
Finally, the Lions are scary because they have only won one playoff game since 1957.
6) Oakland Raiders
Even the Pirate in the helmet is scary in very few these days. This once proud franchise was gobbled up by the same man who made them great, the late Al Davis. Entering this season, the Raiders were on a 37-91 streak and have been known for dismal draft failures (JaMarcus Russell). Raider Nation, those guys who dress like every day is Halloween, have given up on this franchise. The Raiders finished last in the NFL in attendance in 2010. The Raiders also get poor marks for the city of Oakland. Not a good sign when the fan base is more ghoulish than the team.
5) Los Angeles Clippers
It’s heartbreaking when the other team in your hometown, playing the same sport, is so much better than you. The Lakers outperform the Clippers in almost every facet. You don’t have to look far to see why the Clippers are so terrible. Look at the draft. They used a No. 1 overall pick on Michael Olowakandi, a No. 2 pick on Danny Ferry, a No. 3 pick on Darius Miles and a No. 4 pick on Shaun Livingston. It’s impossible to miss so many #1 overall picks! Leads to missing the playoffs in 13 of 35 years.
4) The St. Louis Rams
There are weeks I just forget they’re still in the NFL. The Rams have degraded slowly, step by step, from those glory days of “Big Show On Turf” to the point where they really don’t have anything to hang their hats on anymore. They’re just boring to watch, and what’s worse is that they have one of the most horrible stadiums in the NFL. The fans seem asleep most of the time because the Rams only have one player with star power and that’s Sam Bradford, and he still has a lot to prove.
3) The Kansas City Royals
They have a very nice stadium, but it only masks the underlying horror. The Royals have been flying under the radar as the epitome of the small-market team. Why else have they not been able to get away with not making the playoffs since 1985!! It’s because no one cares. But it gets weirder for this franchise. Kansas City has finished as high as second in the division standings only twice since 1985. Although several perennial All-Stars began their careers in Kansas City: David Cone, Kevin Appier, Johnny Damon, Carlos Beltran and Jermaine Dye , to name a few. Few: The Royals constantly traded their best players to avoid paying them during their best years.
2) Toronto Raptors
The team nickname is one of the coolest and scariest in all of sports. That’s where this franchise ends. Pretty much every good player they’ve had wants out (Vince Carter, Chris Bosh). How about some Raptor jokes?
Q: What do the Toronto Raptors and the Opossums have in common? A: They both play dead at home and die on the way!
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals? A: The Toronto Raptors.
1) The Charlotte Bobcats
The Bobcats have been bad every year of their brief but unpleasant existence, but they outdid themselves in 2011-12. The Bobcats weren’t just bad, they were historically horrible. With 23 straight losses to end the lockout-shortened season, the Bobcats finished with a 7-59 record, the worst winning percentage (.106) of an NBA team. Hard to believe that Michael Jordan, the team’s owner, is somehow associated with this nonsense. Last year’s Bobcats were everything Jordan wasn’t as a player: unproductive, uncompetitive and unwatchable.
dishonorable mentions The Milwaukee Bucks. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Houston Astros, Buffalo Bills, Sacramento Kings, Cleveland Browns and New York Mets.
