Sometimes I hear from people admitting to an inappropriate relationship that has not yet turned physical. This can be very confusing because it can feel like you’re cheating when, technically, you’re not (at least physically). Many people in this situation admit to having very deep feelings that can certainly seem 100% real. Some even believe that they are “in love” with the other person, but may wonder if this is possible when the relationship is not physical.

Someone might confess, “I know this is going to sound stupid, but I feel like I’m cheating on my husband when in fact I’m not, at least technically. Still, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with a co-worker. I’ve worked with this person for five years, but our relationship changed about a year ago when we partnered at work. We had to go through a very stressful situation and became dependent on each other. a lot of time together and I have had some very interesting and intimate conversations I strongly feel that this person knows me much better than my own husband. Increasingly, I no longer talk about this man with my husband because I feel that it is not right My boss has been talking about separating and giving us new partners and that’s when I i realized i am in love with this guy because the thought of not seeing him every day is almost more than i can bear. best friend says this is an emotional matter but i dont know oy I’m sure it’s because I don’t know if he feels the same. I know that I am very important to him and I know that he does not want to end our work relationship, but I am not sure if the romantic feelings are there on his part. When I told my friend that I was in love with this person, she said this was ridiculous since we never held hands, much less kissed or had sex. She said that he’s just an emotional crutch and that I need to get this over with before he ruins four lives. I know the other man would never leave his wife. He is too interested in his children. But I love him. Strangely, I still think I love my husband too. Is my friend right? Can’t it be love if it’s just emotional and not physical? “

I do not doubt that it may seem like a very intimate love. And honestly, I don’t think it really matters how you define it. I don’t think it matters in the least if you call it love or otherwise. I think what really matters is how you proceed right now. Because right now, you are not yet at the point of no return. Yes, you know in your heart that this relationship is wrong and has become too close to be comfortable. But as of now, this hasn’t crossed the threshold of being a full-blown physical affair where you’re having sex with another person. Believe me when I say that this is something extremely difficult to overcome.

I know it will be painful, but I don’t think it is a bad idea to allow job transfer to occur. I’m not sure how good it would be to keep working with someone you think you’re in love with. At worst, you will cross the line and physically cheat. At best, you’ll get deeper and deeper into this, so that it will only hurt more when you’re done. If you still love your husband and are committed to your marriage, then the best thing to do is to end the other relationship. Yes, you think you love the other man, but there is another man you love too: the man you were engaged to and married to.

Since you seem to be sure that the other man will not leave his wife and that you love your husband, there is really nothing good about continuing this working relationship. I know you will miss the emotional support and connection, but you better seek that from your spouse anyway. It might be a little easier if you tried to imagine your spouse in the situation he is in now. If your husband was working with someone you thought he was in love with, would you like him to continue or end it, come back to you and invest in your marriage? I think if you answer those questions honestly, your path might be a little clearer. I applaud you for seeing the danger in this situation. Many people don’t stop to evaluate until the adventure has turned physical and the damage is done. You have the power to stop this before it can irreparably damage your marriage.