Perhaps you have been the victim of control and manipulation by a narcissist. You may have been aware of the toxicity in the relationship a long time ago, but have become too emotionally attached to your abuser to leave the relationship. You might even be free of your narcissist now and are struggling to make your way through the healing process.

The narcissist can be anyone who has a tremendous impact on whether you believe in yourself and your abilities. He is usually a father, an intimate partner, a brother or a boss. You have gradually lost yourself as you have succumbed to his psychological conditioning. After a while, his gaslighting infused you with confusion and anxiety to the point where you became disconnected from your sense of reality. You have become consumed with self-doubt and are easy to control.

Learn the warning signs of a narcissist before another strikes

A true narcissist has these traits embedded in their personality and in many cases can be clinically diagnosed with “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”. To avoid falling into a long-term pattern of “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome,” it’s important to understand how that person’s mind works.

1. The most notable trait of the narcissist is his pompous sense of self-importance. He clearly doesn’t care about anyone’s wants or needs but himself. He blatantly exaggerates or boasts about his accomplishments and talents, seeking recognition as superior to other people. His exaggeration is a way of masking his low self-esteem and emotional insecurity.

2. the often talks about his terrible childhood and seems consumed by her. He projects her cognitive dissonance onto you or others at this time in your life by appearing agitated and quick to anger. This is your coping mechanism for feeling so conflicted.

3. the denies responsibility for having many failed relationships in their life. Nothing is ever his fault.

Similarly, like his victim, you tend to have the opposite personality traits. You are very empathetic and forgive your narcissist repeatedly. You are more considerate and affectionate with others than with yourself. It’s usually in your nature to be overly cooperative, so people easily take advantage of you. When it comes to your abusive partner, you ignore the proverbial red flags of their unacceptable behaviors. Worse, you overcompensate for your more deviant behaviors, and you need to be careful not to let it lead you down a path of self-destructive behavior, such as substance abuse or self-mutilation.

Why you are full of doubts after narcissistic abuse

The longer a target suffers through narcissistic abuse, the more it is programmed through psychological conditioning. Once you finally leave your narcissist, you still feel chronically detached from yourself and your life for a while. You may even find yourself missing your abuser and feeling a lot of self-doubt because of it.

Self-doubt is very common among adults who were raised by narcissistic parents. If this happened to you, then you grew up hearing your parents tell you that pride is a bad thing and that you would never amount to anything good. You may now feel unable to give yourself credit for your good traits and accomplishments.

Restore self-confidence and lessen doubts after narcissistic abuse

1. Enter a counseling or recovery program. Many communities offer free counseling in a group setting and sometimes even offer free individual counseling for victims of domestic abuse.

2. Give yourself positive affirmations every day. Telling yourself that you are a smart, loving, beautiful, and capable person while looking in the mirror should eventually reprogram your thinking and help you feel good about yourself again.

3. Read self-help books. about recovering from abuse and finding the heart to trust his judgment.

4. Go with the flow of the healing process. Don’t rush or be hard on yourself when you have doubts.

5. Reassess your needs in a partner. Make a list of the essential and the impossible and do not settle for less. Ask yourself if he/she exhibits those traits.

6. To meditate. Focus on listening to your inner voice and keep it positive. This is a good time to incorporate positive affirmations.

Learning the warning signs of a narcissist is very important. Knowledge is power, so empowering yourself to see the warning signs listed above can encourage you to overcome your fear of being a victim again.