Imagine riding in an elevator with strangers. One asks you: “What are you doing?” You have until the elevator reaches the next floor to answer the question. If you answer convincingly, you could get sales leads or referrals. The objective is to respond so that they ask for your business card before the elevator stops.

Being asked for your card by a stranger after a self-introduction that lasts no more than thirty seconds—that’s the mark of a convincing elevator pitch. That’s also where most fail.

Good, but…

Consider Jeff’s elevator pitch: “I work with people who want to accumulate wealth by investing in undervalued stocks.”

Here’s what Brenda says: “I help couples furnish and decorate their new homes in their own style.”

Says Jeanette, “I work with growing companies that need to find talented people so they can continue to grow and become more successful.”

Each of these is good enough for Jeff, Brenda, and Jeanette to hand out their business cards. They concisely describe their customers and the benefits they provide. However, these elevator pitches lack the power to compel most people to ask for a business card before the elevator stops.

For example, unless you’re already someone who wants to accumulate wealth by investing in undervalued stocks, Jeff may only be remembered for his fancy suit and irrelevant career.

empathy gives you power

That compelling power comes from empathetically describing the discomfort or emotional pain that relieves you. That’s at the core of a compelling elevator pitch: pain relief.

Here’s Brenda’s elevator pitch again, with added pain relief: “I help couples furnish and decorate their new homes in their own style, and they don’t have to do all the shopping.” Many people would like to free themselves from the task of buying furniture and decorations. With just ten more words, Brenda honors that and offers relief.

The fluff is forgotten

At parties, gatherings, wedding receptions, conferences, and a variety of other situations where people meet for the first time, people often forget about other people they meet. This is how elevator speeches are condensed into simple impressions.

For example, Ed uses this elevator pitch: “I help people like you get the car of their dreams. I’ve been with Paul’s Auto Brokers for eight years and it’s still amazing to me how we make car dreams come true.” came true. We found deals on new and used wheels you wouldn’t believe.”

To most people he knows, Ed’s elevator pitch sounds too good to be true. He has considered adding more about his background, or the award-winning service department at Paul’s Auto Brokers, or that he had a record year last year. The problem is, unless you can empathetically describe the pain you relieve, most people don’t care about those things.

The simple impression that Ed creates centers on his enthusiasm and possible exaggeration. (Is he still amazing after eight years?) Ed needs to prove relevant.

When everything is fluff

Until you credibly mention emotional discomfort, and at least hint that it can help, most people don’t care:

or the prizes you have won.

or how many employees you have.

Or how much experience do you have?

or how long you have been in business.

or your education.

or the location of your business.

or your business hours.

or your core business values.

or the important people you deal with.

o Funny rhythms about your company.

Pain relief = relevance

Relevance makes a compelling elevator pitch and pain makes it relevant. That’s why it would be wise for Jeannette to say something like this: “You know, a lot of companies in this area are having a hard time finding good people to hire. So it can be frustrating to keep a good team together. Of course.” , letting people go can also cause loss of sleep. As a certified human resources consultant, I help make life easier for senior managers. Can you relate to that?”

If your nanny’s parents had just revealed their hiring problems, would you ask Jeannette for her card? If her neighbor had recently lamented having to lay off workers, would she ask Jeannette for her card? If he was frustrated that office politics affected the performance of his own employees, would he ask Jeannette for her card?

it’s not about you

An elevator pitch should communicate:

o Who you are (name with or without title or organization).

o Three problems you solve (succinctly described in emotional terms).

o That you can solve such problems (concisely expressed in emotional terms).

o A hook question (e.g., is this important to you?)

When people ask you what you do for a living, don’t talk about yourself. Rather, concisely describe the emotional upsets you relieve, perhaps affecting your listener or people you care about. Then he claims that you help to stop or avoid such pains. Now it’s worth ordering your business card.

After 30 seconds or less (before the elevator reaches the next floor), a stranger will ask for your card. Until that happens, you don’t have a convincing elevator pitch.