Do you know the difference between real and fake love? Like any counterfeit item or feature, it can be difficult to tell and identify the real from the fake. Sometimes even experts cannot tell what is genuine and what is not.
Fake things resemble real things in many ways. The facade can look exactly like the actual item. Hollywood sets with their cardboard exteriors are good examples of this. So when it comes to falling in love, if the object of your affection looks good, sounds reasonable, and seems to feel the same way you do, you may not understand that he or she is not who you think he or she is.
What are the defining characteristics that can tell you what is real and what is fake? What are the warning signs to watch out for?
Essentially, fake love fades as soon as the chemistry wears off. But love endures, showing itself in the actions and deeds of the two people.
These are the signs of false love:
1 time
Fake love, which is just chemistry, lasts anywhere from three weeks to a year and a half and then it’s gone. Real love loses the immediacy of the chemical high, but retains the chemistry as it becomes deeper and calmer. The beginning of both types of love is marked by obsession. For a while, the two lovers cannot think of anything but each other. They can lose weight, lose sleep, and lose all concept of time. For them there is nothing more than the other person. When this chemical high wears off, the true image of the person emerges for them. All of the above implies… time.
2. Screening
False love, based primarily on physical intimacy, is what two people assume about each other. They cannot see future problems. Idealized qualities, lives built on fantasy, and a perfect life together dominate their thoughts. Each insists that the other is the best person they have ever met. The problem is that they haven’t really PLACES each other yet. They relate to their idealized version. When this cyclone of projection ends and the dust settles, the true person emerges. So they can decide if they are right for each other.
3.Fairy tales
Fake love feeds on things from fairy tales. The women in history want a prince charming. They will have riches, happiness, love and all dreams will come true. The man in the story, who feels like a frog and can even look like one, is kissed by the princess. He miraculously turns himself into a handsome and handsome Prince. When two people come together and fall into the chemical cocktail, they may unconsciously fall for this stylized story. Only when the chemicals wear off do they really show up. They may like each other, in which case true love will develop. Or, the chemicals turn toxic, the guy reverts to being a frog, and she looks for another prince.
4. The future
When two people meet and fall in love with chemistry, they can start planning their future together in a matter of weeks. Your “real” selves aren’t talking to each other here: it’s your fried, scrambled, spiced brain that can’t be trusted to make clear decisions.
How is REAL love? It is able to pass the chemistry phase and enter real time. Fake love involves conflict, drama, and pain, once the chemistry wears off. True love evolves into service, thought, care and sincere emotions for the other. True love shows itself in acts of love, over and over again, without anyone keeping track. True love responds to the needs of another, flowing effortlessly from one day to the next.
