A battle of wills
In South Florida, something as personal as preparing a will often becomes a battle of wills for many couples and families. Creating or updating an estate plan requires contemplation of money, death, and extended family. These are topics that can cause fights even in the strongest families. To avoid any conflict with your partner or spouse over estate planning, here are some tips to follow when discussing the subject.
Try not to be too critical of your partner’s family members.
Many fights that arise over the drafting of a will stem from perceived attacks on relatives rather than which relative will receive what after the testator’s death. If you have strong feelings that a particular relative should be left out of your will or you disagree with the choice of your executor partner in South Florida, you should be very diplomatic and describe your position without speaking negatively about the relative. specific. For example, he may explain that he wants to give a particular relative less of his equal share of the estate because other descendants need the money more or will use it better. Make sure you don’t tell your partner that you think this person doesn’t deserve the money, even if they really don’t. You should explain that you disagree with your partner’s choice of executor or trustee not because there is something wrong with this person (even if there is), but because you believe someone else is better equipped to handle the task.
Propose compromises instead of arguing for one side or the other.
Fights are more likely to occur when one spouse feels that the other is not hearing their voice. A preventative solution to this problem is to listen to your partner’s positions and look for some sort of middle ground, even if you don’t agree with their decision. For example, if you disagree on how to divide the estate among relatives because some relatives are less deserving than others, you may leave this less than worthy descendant with a sentimental heirloom, even if it has very little value. financial value Another solution might be to establish a charitable trust in South Florida that supports the family as one partner wishes, but then donates what is left over to charity, as the other wishes.
Another possible compromise with remarried couples might involve giving a small percentage of the estate to the couple’s children from a previous marriage rather than excluding these descendants altogether. It might also be a good idea to include a statement in your will explaining that descendants who received less are not less loved. If you and your partner or spouse cannot agree on a South Florida executor for your will, you can each name your ideal executor candidate and make them co-executors instead of selecting one over the other or even name a mutual friend or South Florida executor. bank as executor instead of arguing over which family member to select.
Discuss any potentially dangerous issues with your partner or spouse before meeting with your estate planning attorney.
Visiting your South Florida estate planning attorney just so you and your partner can argue in front of him will increase everyone’s stress level and waste your time and the attorney’s time. Instead of waiting to discuss these situations at the attorney’s office, you should schedule time to sit down with your spouse or partner before the meeting and discuss who should be the executor, who should be responsible for minor children, and who should get what. of each of your farms. Even if you can’t compromise on every issue, this pre-meeting discussion will allow you to clearly and calmly discuss any disagreements with your attorney at your free consultation. At that point, you may be able to offer some acceptable solutions.
Discuss each of your goals and come up with a main objective.
What do you and your partner most want to accomplish your will? If you can agree on a main goal, you’ll be less likely to argue over the smaller details. If you have minor children, you and your spouse will likely agree that the primary purpose of your will is to ensure that the children are cared for. Both spouses will primarily care that the children are brought up properly. If your partner protests that giving one of your family members custody of the children will anger or disappoint your family members, simply remind your partner of the main goal and explain why living with the interests of your choice of guardian It would be the best for the children. .
Remember to continually use the term “for now.”
You and your partner should review your estate plans any time there is a change in your family or in the estate tax law. Your will can and will be amended in the future. Reminding your spouse or partner that decisions made today aren’t necessarily permanent can take some of the emotion out of the discussion. For example, if your partner wants your sister to be the guardian of the children, but you would rather have your brother raise them because he is married and she is single, you can reassure your spouse that the issue can be brought up again if your sister is married.
