Like many future parents, we approached the birth of our first child with enthusiasm, fear, and confidence that we would do everything right and be fully prepared for this “blessed event.” My husband and I faithfully attended our Lamaze classes, practiced my breathing and timing, and were fully prepared when the first labor pain began.

Now, after 5 (healthy) deliveries, I feel like a true expert and I am ready to give advice.

The first birth is the “hardest”, just because you have no idea what to expect. I woke up Sunday morning with “interesting” pain. He was nothing like all those Braxton Hicks he had been having for months. It started with a sharp pain in my back and seemed to spin around my stomach. I knew it was real labor, but I also knew that I had a long time to go. All day we go about our business: shopping, meeting friends for pizza … with that little reminder popping up every few minutes. I endured this light work all day until night when I decided I had had enough and it was time to go to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital at 10 at night. I thought that was it! I had been diligently timing contractions as my husband hurried to the hospital. When I arrived they checked me and told me that I was only 3 centimeters dilated and that I should go home and come back later. After that awkward car ride, I refused to get back in the car, so they let me stay.

What a good thing I did. We set out to make our Lamaze just as we had learned. It said something like this: In each contraction, my husband would very sweetly say “Breathe.” I would answer “I AM BREATHING! WHAT DO YOU THINK, I’M HOLDING MY BREATH ?! “. Too much for Lamaze training. Our son was born three hours later.

The next baby I had more experience. I already went to sleep in light labor and woke up at 3 in the morning in non-light labor, allowing me to prepare and make arrangements for our son. This time I knew how to stay home until I could no longer bear the pain when I arrived at the hospital at 9 in the morning. Lamaze was out of the question this time, but what was he going to do? I created my own “Lamaze”. With each hard contract, he held his breath and shook his head very hard from side to side. Our daughter was born three hours later.

Our third son followed the plan. After waiting at home until I couldn’t bear the pain, we arrived at the hospital at 6 in the morning. Our son was born at 9 in the morning.

I went into labor with our fourth child on Thursday afternoon while preparing my three children and myself to go to a cousin’s wedding. I didn’t even mention it to my husband until the five of us were in the car on the way to the wedding. All night people asked me “when are you going to give birth?” He would smile and reply “soon”. I saw no reason to make 300 people nervous by announcing that I was in labor.

This light work lasted more than 24 hours. I arrived at the hospital at 5:00 the next afternoon. This hospital had some delivery rooms that seemed to have very thin walls between then. It seemed like I picked a popular time to give birth. I heard three women cry out in pain in turn and then the beautiful, sweet sound of a newborn baby being born. It was as if each woman took her turn. So I decided that it should be my turn. I told my husband “I’m going to scream”. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I did. With each contraction he let out a good cry. (I really thought my husband would just run out of the room.) This method worked very well. A few good shouts and there was our new son.

Now for my fifth child, I decided that I would get a little older and ready to face my first epidural. As usual, I arrived at the hospital when I could no longer bear the pain. As usual, I was told that I was only 3 centimeters dilated and that I have a lot of time. At my insistence they let me lie down. After half an hour a nurse came to see me and said “how did you do that? We will quickly register you.” Finally, they were taking me seriously! We spent a few minutes filling out the forms that they didn’t have when I arrived. I went to the delivery room and told them I wanted an epidural this time. “Sorry,” they said, time to start pushing. And that was it. Our daughter was born just two hours after my arrival at the hospital.

Now, people will always tell you that every birth is different. Not true, I had five births and each one was exactly the same. People will tell you to walk to speed up your labor. Is not true. The moment I lie down and feel comfortable, things start to move. People will tell you that you should do exactly what you learned in Lamaze class. Is not true. You must do what works for you.

I know I was very lucky. Five very short deliveries and five simple deliveries. But the “luckiest” part was that I brought home five healthy, beautiful babies.