As the recession wreaked havoc on families in America and around the world, a new way of thinking and living was born from the rubble of job losses and looming foreclosures.

Thousands of couples who intended to divorce during these perilous times were forced or voluntarily decided to reconsider their options.

Many couples divorcing with mortgages and children realized that selling their family home was almost impossible, as the real estate market had literally bottomed out, so they made the decision to proceed with the divorce but continue living. together. The idea was to wait until her house sold for a fair price before finally divorcing. Saying goodbye to their finances up in the air would have put them and their children in trouble.

This also applied to couples who had been divorced but had been unable to sell their home or pay off family debts, perhaps due to job loss. That is why there are now thousands of couples who are divorced and living together.

So how can two people who had decided their relationship was over turn the tide and stay together?

NEED could easily have been the catchphrase of 2010, as many married or divorced couples set out to create a whole new life where they were no longer married in the true sense of the word, but instead were ROOMMATES.

Under the umbrella of this new lifestyle, they would have had to establish a clear vision of the future and know what goals they wanted to achieve in order for both of them to move forward in a healthy way. That is emotionally, financially with plans in place for the future of their children.

In most cases, this would mean waiting until your home sold for its market value to avoid any outstanding debt to your bank or loan provider. Credit card debt and installment purchase agreements would have to be split or paid in full; otherwise, your credit rating would plummet, leaving you both with the potential for an unhealthy financial future. Leaving a marriage is hard enough without the added pressure of wondering how you will survive from day to day.

If there are children, the situation becomes even more complicated, as most parents would want to know that their children are fed, clothed and cared for once mom and dad have parted ways. Children can be extremely resilient and may see this new arrangement as a good thing because their parents aren’t fighting each other. I think if they are old enough they should be told as they have a right to know and make their own judgements.

Some people believe that it can ease the transition to living with one parent.

As a couple moves from being a loving couple to being a roommate, new structures must be established. The first is sleeping arrangements and privacy zones.

It’s true that I’ve read of some divorced couples still sharing the same bed, but I think most ex-husbands or wives would want to have their own space to retreat to if things ever get a little crazy. It acts as a safety net and allows each partner that all-important wait time.

Many couples reported that they got along better once the pressure of the marriage ceased to be an issue.

There will be many things to consider, such as which partner (or both) will hold the strings to the family wallet and pay the monthly bills, and how new schedules and boundary setting will affect the family dynamic.

The most important thing to remember is that you are both in this together to get through tough times. Letting go of all animosity is the key to a harmonious life arrangement. A positive attitude is essential and so is respect for each other’s personal space. Just think how easy life will be for both of you once you’ve parted ways. So many divorces are very ugly as each husband or wife goes to great lengths to bring the other to their knees. Children are the ones who suffer terribly from this as they are often forced to take sides in this war where no one really wins.

If you are separated but living together or divorced and living together, you can make this work as many ex-partners have already shown. Why walk away from a marriage with nothing when you can leave the relationship with your finances in order, happy kids, and maybe even a new best friend?