For some, a D/S relationship comes into play only behind closed doors. It can be something sweet and soft, or hard and powerful. But, once they leave the bedroom, the fun ends. On the contrary, others choose to recognize it as a way of life. For them, it’s who and what they are. They live and breathe the requirements and privileges that come with full immersion in the D/s lifestyle. One thing these two seemingly desperate approaches to BDSM have in common is Total Power Exchange, or TPE.
What is TPE exactly? Typically, when two consenting adults engage in a BDSM-focused activity, they do so with predefined parameters in place to protect both parties and provide a buffer in case something becomes too uncomfortable or potentially unsafe or harmful. At the core of any particular relationship or activity in BDSM, there is the exchange of power. The submissive knowingly allows himself to be stripped of power and authority. In return, the Dominant works to maintain the submissive’s health, happiness, and pleasure even as the submissive strives to please his Dominant. Total Power Exchange takes this one step further by eliminating the buffer mentioned above. There are no words of security, no contracts, no pre-negotiation, etc. It should be noted that the Dominant cannot simply take control on a whim, it must be accepted by the submissive. To do otherwise would be cruel at best and abusive at worst.
However, the term ‘Full Power Exchange’ is somewhat of a misnomer and is open to interpretation and debate. We are human, not machines or intangible concepts that can be altered or changed depending on need, belief or requirement. Human beings have limits, both emotional and physical, that, on the surface, TPE seems to ignore completely. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the Dominant to exercise care to the point of surgical precision, in fact, when administering to his submissive. While the submissive is, of course, capable of independent thought, all physical and some abstract (eg freedom) aspects of his life are overseen by the Dominant. Thus, another name for this scenario could be Consensual Slavery. This does not mean that the Dominant micromanages his life. Being told when to shower, when and what to eat, when to sleep, when to wake up: these things would quickly wear down even the most devoted submissive, although it ‘can’ be done if that is truly what is wanted and accepted. both parties.
Those who engage in BDSM and by extension TPE only intermittently have less trouble with the next point, because they can “turn it on and off” at will. However, those who choose to live it as a permanent fixture in their lives must contend with influences beyond even the Dominant’s control. Examples of this are the necessities of life, or the fact that family members and co-workers may not understand or approve of what the couple is doing. However, if there’s one thing a committed couple in a D/s relationship can do well, it’s adapt. Flexibility is one of the most important things, both inside and outside the relationship, wherever your limits are.
Total Power Exchange is not for everyone. It is up to both the Dominant and the submissive to find out what they want. Yes, interaction is as important as patience, love and devotion. The Dominant may have the last word, but, and this matters especially if the Dominant and the submissive live together, on how things go at home and in the relationship. The couple should also allow open dialogue about whatever aspects of their lives come up, from how to raise children, if any, how to care for pets, where to put the rugs, to the details of what goes on in the bedroom.
