“Where words are many, sin is not absent.”
Proverbs 10:19
CAN IT BE RELATED TO the frustration in reflecting on hearing yourself exaggerate something to make it sound more appealing or sensational? Why are we doing this? Kids do it all the time. Adults do it. Is it because we are trying to gain more acceptance? Is it because we need the attention? Is it because we have unmet needs within? However, the reality is that our credibility (and truth) suffers when we deceive ourselves with a half-truth.
The quoted proverb points directly to the effects of talking too much: if we talk too much, we are more like lie. We need to understand that although lies hurt others, they also hurt ourselves. We suffer the inevitable loss of credibility, if you really count among your peer group. The truth is that falsehoods are sometimes appreciated by some groups; although they are not the objective of this discussion. This advice is addressed to those who want and see the need to tell more truth.
Anyone serious about becoming wise must affirm that talking too much is cheating, and that building and maintaining credibility is paramount. I once read that out of sixty things we say, one is a lie, a lie, an omission, or an exaggeration, which means that we inevitably lie at one time or another. The same writer (Bill Hybels) suggested that it was a good idea to limit conversations to fifty-nine or less.
The idea is that if you want to be more honest and have, as a result, more integrity and better credibility, you simply need to say less. We need to be more cautious in what we say; more self-controlled; more discreet I don’t know about you, but listening to a speech that is indiscreet and careless makes me angry inside, because I see a lack of care in the one who speaks, a lack of care is a lack of love.
Anyone who considers himself a spiritual being should not act carelessly; It goes against the grain of spirituality. If he wants to be more spiritual and finds it difficult to limit or control his speech, what should he do?
If you feel susceptible to this kind of weakness, talking too much and lacking the self-control to limit your speech, perhaps you need to study the principles of prudence and discretion? I have defined precaution simply as “Control of what goes in or out of the mouth.” (While this might be too simplistic a definition, it works for me.) Would it be true that for the many who lack control over their words, there are the same people who lack control over their words? that and how much they eat? I wonder if there would be any correlation. Caution is self control; it is a wise life.
The proverbs also tell us about other effects of cautious behavior. The prudent ignores an insult, reserves his knowledge, acts by knowledge (which are established facts), reflects on his ways (and steps), crowns himself with knowledge, takes refuge in the sight of danger, is silent in times of anguish, and directs correction.
The final part of the proverb quoted above says, “…but he [or she] he who is silent is wise.” There are many positive effects of speaking less and telling only the truth. The biggest and most positive effect is that you will become wiser and more insightful because of it. People will trust you more and you will get more honor. without even having to think about it, which is as it should be.
And when you think about it, talking less brings more peace and quiet to your soul as there is less pressure on you to please others. We don’t need to please others to feel better inside; just indulge them in loving them.
Reference: Hybels, B., Making Life Work: Putting God’s Wisdom Into Action (InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Ill., 1998), p. 88f.
© Steve J Wickham, 2007.
