It seems absurd that someone with social anxiety disorder (SAD) would end up in a sales career, right? It is very similar to the term oxymoron “virtual reality” in the sense that they are two opposing worlds colliding. Not only is it possible, it may be more common than we think. Fear of meetings, lunches, and cold calls are not something sufferers simply prefer not to do, but rather something they feel they sometimes can’t do. In this article I will discuss my personal experience in this area and also share some simple strategies that I have benefited from.

As with most psychological problems, it began in my childhood when my older brother was relentlessly torturing me for my Italian nose. The more I did it, the more I felt my nose grow. He might as well have had a giant cucumber instead of a nose when he was done with me. As a result of this vicious attack, during my school years you could find me in the back corner of the classroom paralyzed for fear that someone would be a witness in profile. In fact, I hid myself from this with the clever use of my hand resting my head on my temple. My fear was so excessive and overwhelming that it not only affected my ability to concentrate, but I had panic attacks. These attacks started with a cold sweat and progressed to body tremors and stomach pain and began to hamper all aspects of my life. Sounds familiar? These symptoms continued into my adulthood, that is, until I started my first sales job.

It was my forty-first year on this planet when a milestone change occurred in the form of a divorce and the loss of a long-term career. After contemplating different options with this confused mindset, and against my better judgment, I took what I thought would be an interim job in sales and was a cold call in a telemarketing environment to begin with. That’s how it is; I was facing my anxieties head-on! Saving you from all the obstacles that arose, I did very well and actually broke the company’s sales record! The big moment came when I knew that if I could get people to talk about their passions, my anxiety would dissipate quickly and the rest was easy! It was just a matter of knowing what and when to speak and honing my listening skills. The construction report became my number one goal (and my secret weapon) not only for great sales results but also for self-monitoring.

Reviewing my fears and insecurities prior to that job, I began to realize that anticipatory mental role-play coupled with my thoughts of rejection was where anxieties really dwelt like an ogre under the bridge. They are never based on truth and reality. I’ll say it again: they are never based on truth and reality. I used to say “rarely” grounded in reality, but I’ve come to realize that it never really is. Reflect on your fears. How often have they actually happened? If I mess up and stutter, stutter, or maybe drip food at lunch, will that really have a negative impact on how I’m perceived? Would that affect my judgment of others if they stuttered, babbled, or spilled food on themselves? It’s unlikely, I say. If so, it would really be based on your own insecurities. Even with these findings, doubts continued to arise and it became clear to me that other tools would be necessary.

Here are some things I do to help the process. When I have a meeting scheduled, I eat something right before, as I find it calms my nerves. The double whammy of hunger and nervousness only encourages dry mouth, shaky hands, and sweaty palms, and distracts my attention from the task at hand. If food is served at the function, I select easy-to-eat varieties that eliminate any accidents, so skip the chili burgers! It has also been beneficial for me to familiarize myself with the surroundings before the meeting by arriving early, especially if I am presenting. Another tool in my arsenal is to set aside ten minutes to meditate in a private setting, escape to a fantasy desert island, and listen to the wind in the palm trees.

Last but not least, understand your product or project thoroughly and also your competition’s product. A lot of anxiety would hamper my ability to close a sale when faced with the horrible feeling of inability to overcome an objection related to my competitor’s product. Bottom line: don’t be prepared, be fully prepared. It’s as simple as any elementary spelling test, we all remember them, don’t we? The grade awarded in any exam is directly related to the amount of our preparation. Likewise, it is our anxiety levels before and during our exams. You just have to know that your anxieties are not what you are. They are what you do or don’t do. My beautifully sculpted Italian nose will confirm it.