A hard fact of life is that relationships can break. Most lesbians go through such an experience at least once and unfortunately you have found yourself in this painful situation. Even though they have left you, you still care about your ex. Things may look bad, but there is still hope for their relationship if she takes the right steps. Here are three critical things you need to do if you want your ex girlfriend back.

1. Keep your mouth shut. If there is going to be any chance of reconciliation, you should watch your tongue and not speak badly about your ex girlfriend to other people. The lesbian community can be small and intertwined. Realize that you never know who is friends with whom. Anything negative you say about your ex lover has the potential to come back to her. Gossip spreads fast!

Reserve your emotional release for only your closest friends, people you can absolutely trust to keep your secrets private. With anyone else, be diplomatic and vague about the details of your breakup. Resist the urge to spill your sadness and anger on anyone within six feet. While your listeners may seem sympathetic, complaining about how terrible your ex-girlfriend is doesn’t make you look too good either. Don’t say anything that could damage your lover’s reputation. Be nice to their friends if you run into them, and don’t ask mutual friends to take sides in battle. Behave classy and you will have a better chance of reconciling with your ex girlfriend.

2. Avoid places you’re likely to go, temporarily. Depending on your circumstances, this can be difficult, especially if you liked to go out to clubs together or shared hobbies and activities. You may think it’s not fair to have to change your routines. But staying away from your ex as much as is practical serves several purposes.

If you’re feeling hurt and angry, seeing her could trigger a storm of emotions and lead you to do or say something you’ll regret. The last thing you want is to make a bad situation worse, right? Minimizing contact also gives your ex a chance to feel your absence and even begin to miss you.

3. Make a plan to get your ex back. Although you may feel desperate right now, all is not lost. Many lesbians are able to reconcile after a breakup. Keep calm and think things through. Believe it or not, there are entire books written on the very topic of getting your ex lover back. Getting back with an ex is basically a matter of using the right psychological tools in the right order.

Most importantly, having a strategy will help you clear your mind and make you feel more positive about the future. And that will definitely put you on the right track towards a possible reconciliation with the woman you still care about.