Libido is that delicious drive within us to seek physical, emotional, and sexual pleasure and orgasmic release. Love pushes us to get closer to our desired partner. Love helps us feel invincible, as if we can conquer all obstacles and overcome all difficulties. But pain can stop us in our tracks.
Pain has sometimes been called the fifth vital sign. When we feel pain, especially sharp, stabbing, jerking, and intense pain, most of us can only focus on one thing: relieving or eliminating the pain. Occasionally, after intense athletic training, after an unexpected fall or injury, we may experience temporary pain that causes us to avoid sexual intimacy for a short period of time. And usually our relationship doesn’t suffer from such a brief pause.
But what happens when pain becomes the norm, when our body hurts most or even all of the time? What happens when we have difficulty turning our heads, bending our spines or knees, or supporting our body weight with our arms? What happens when severe body pain blocks our desire to have sex?
When our body screams in pain, sexual desire is usually not a very high priority. What we long for and need is to find a way to ease the pain. This is where love and nurturing can help us overcome all obstacles. A loving partner can touch, massage, and soothe our sore muscles, joints, or general pain.
Pain takes on a life of its own, demanding attention and respect. By honoring pain and finding ways to lessen it, our natural libido can regain its rightful place in our lives. When your body is in pain, DO NOT ignore it and keep trying to please your partner at their expense. Be open and honest. Talk to your partner. Share your fears and discover together what works to relieve pain.
Sometimes a warm bath or hot tub will help fuel your passion, especially if you share the experience. The warm water and vibrating sensations can help you and your partner experience sensual delight.
Get moving. Sometimes the pain begins to subside as you walk and stretch and get circulation flowing to the sore body parts. Sometimes rest, relaxation and sleep are the best solutions.
If certain physical activities, like sex, are excruciatingly painful, explore with your partner new ways to find pleasure together. Open communication, a sense of physical and emotional security, and a relaxing environment (soothing music, dim lighting, pleasant scents in the air, soft pillows, warm blankets) along with loving eye contact, kind words, and gentle touch can help. for your brain to drift. pain signals. Sexual arousal increases the release of feel-good hormones and pain-relieving endorphins. Sometimes just having a sexual encounter can help the pain subside temporarily.
Bread is part of life. It affects us all at some point, especially as we age. Pain can be unpleasant and it certainly has the potential to limit our range of activities. But pain does not have to interfere, block or prevent the enjoyment of sensual and sexual pleasure. In a love relationship, we can find a way back to pleasure, and sometimes that is the real solution to eliminate pain.
