Growing old is an experience we all go through: there is no escape, not even money can buy it. Existential questions begin to be processed at any age, be it the death of an animal or the deterioration of Grandma’s health and her inevitable death. The following article will look at ways we can better deal with our own mortality and the signs of aging.
signs of aging
Do you remember when you first saw a gray hair? Or when you looked in the mirror and discovered that you had wrinkles around your eyes or cellulite on your hips? Men may be more concerned about the tires they add to their bellies or not being able to get through the nights as long as they used to. The signs of change are everywhere; in fact, they don’t stop at our bodies. We see our buildings age, our clothes go out of fashion or more and more houses are being built where there used to be nature. Change is the only constant in our lives.
How do you deal with those changes? What are you saying about your own body changes? What do you feel about the changes in nature and our environment?
Mortality
I recently had a client ask me how and when to tell her children that their grandmother was dying soon. She worried about the age of her children, how they would deal with the grievance of the family around them, and how they would process her own sadness. Are children too young, innocent or sensitive to be exposed to the emotional reaction of losing a loved one?
Mortality and the sadness that accompanies death can be experienced with the loss of an animal, a family member or, for example, through what is being shown on television. It is important to remember that children can react with extreme behaviors and reactions, just like adults. One minute they seem fine or even uninterested, and the next they can be totally reactive and in need of attention, complaining of minor ailments like headaches or stomachaches.
loss
Even with the loss of my favorite bag when I was about 8 years old, it plunged me into deep sadness and I mourned it for days. Looking at it from an adult’s perspective, it wasn’t much, and yet, to a child, certain objects have much more sentimental value than we can consciously understand.
Loss is also experienced in dealing with reduced or changed abilities of our bodies. Another recent client was dealing with severe back pain and was no longer able to do the physical activities he loved, like jogging and dancing. On top of that, she ‘tortured’ herself (inside her head) with the fact that she wanted to do those things but she couldn’t. What made a change for her was the question: “Think about: what is possible and realistic to do right now?” Allow the part of you that longs to do those things that currently cannot express your disappointment, but don’t let that be all you’re thinking about.
