Many people have found that they waited too long to get their marriage back on track and lost any chance they had to get their spouse back. The more time that passes after you separate from her wife, the more time someone else has to get involved with her. And the more time she has to “forget” about you and why she married you in the first place. So start working right now to get your wife back.

The first thing you have to do is make an effort to communicate with your wife. Lack of communication is the number one reason most marriages fall apart. It just happens that way. After a few years of marriage, you start to take the person you love for granted. Between your job, the kids, your friends, and all the other stressful things that go on in your everyday life, it’s easy to think that your wife understands and that she’ll always be there. But that has to change if you want to get your wife back.

A good marriage is like a healthy plant. If you water, fertilize and take care of your plant, it will flourish. It is the same with marriage.

So right now you need to contact your wife and ask to meet her on neutral territory and just talk to each other. Find out why he left. Find out what made her unhappy and give up on the marriage. Ask her what she needs to make the marriage work again.

Armed with that information, you need to start reminding him of the good old days. The moments you had that made you get close to each other and fall in love. When you both reminisce about the good times, you’ll be surprised at how much better you both feel. They will feel less threatened and therefore less willing to blame each other for real or imagined slights. Thinking back to when you were really in love will go a long way toward calming things down between the two of you and delaying the trip to divorce court.

One thing you shouldn’t do during this communication phase is blame her or yourself. And don’t be angry, even if you want to. Anger will stop all communication and bring you back to square one. Listening to your wife is the key to a good communication session. If you really want to win your wife back, you will have to be patient and listen before you speak.

Be strong and have confidence. Tell her what you want and let her know that you are willing to give her what she wants in the marriage.