If someone is an adult, it could be said that what happened as a child will end. As a result, the pain they experienced during this stage of their life will remain firmly in the past.

What could add weight to this view is that if you were to think about this stage in your life, you may not come in contact with any emotional pain. This alone could be seen as proof that the above is correct.

Other piece

And, if more evidence was needed, they could say that their childhood was not so bad or that they had a very good childhood. Then there will be no reason for you to carry the pain of that stage of your life.

But, if you said that this stage of your life is far from perfect, you might say that it is over anyway. Regardless of how you view your past, you will be well and truly in the past.

Separate topics

When it comes to the challenges they have in their adult life, they will not be considered to have anything to do with what they experienced as children. Some of these challenges could be attributed to bad luck, while others could be considered part of life.

For example, they could live in a society that generally believes that luck is what defines whether or not someone will end up in a satisfying relationship. So if they have troubled relationships, it could be attributed to bad luck.

All in the same boat

What could strengthen this belief is that one could be surrounded by people who are also in the same position. Therefore, what is happening in this area of ​​their life will have very little to do with them and a lot to do with what life is like.

Seeing life this way, it will come as no surprise that one sees oneself as a victim. However, it could go even further, as one could have what is often described as a “victim mentality.”

A natural result

However, if certain areas of your life are considered to be largely out of your control and under the control of someone or something ‘out there’, how else would they be? Hopefully they will come to this conclusion.

The only way a certain area of ​​your life will change is if something ‘out there’ changes. Until then, they will just have to put up with what is happening, which means that they are unlikely to live a life worth living.

Repeating the past

Now, although it may seem that one is just a victim and has no control over his life, what is this that is not the truth? What if their experiences are largely an effect of how they feel on a deeper level?

This would mean that one is not being victimized by what is happening ‘out there’, one is being victimized by what is happening inside of them. The cause is how they feel and the effect is what happens, as opposed to the situations and circumstances that define how they feel.

Caught

Without this understanding, they will end up trapped in how they feel when something happens. Being consumed by these feelings, they will unknowingly create more of the same.

Unless you are able to step back and stop doing the same, your life is unlikely to change. In fact, it is likely to get even worse over time, causing them to suffer even more.

Get to the root

In order for your life to change, you will need to detach yourself from what is happening and get in touch with your deepest feelings. Ultimately, these deeper feelings, feelings that will go back to your early years, will need to be faced, acknowledged, and processed.

This is not something that happens overnight as there are likely many, many layers of pain within them. Having not satisfied certain needs during this time, they would have experienced pain, and this pain will freeze in their body.

Disconnected

The reason they may not have been able to see the connection between how they felt as children and how they feel as adults is due to the defenses that their minds had set in motion. These defenses, defenses that would have been put in place to protect them, would also have made them forget what happened.

But, although his conscious mind did not recall these feelings, these feelings would have continued to define his life. In other words, this internal material would have remained in your unconscious mind and co-created your reality.

Conscience

If you can relate to this and are ready to change your life, you may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.

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With the presence of such a person, one may lament his unmet childhood needs. These unmet childhood needs would have created a series of false adult needs, needs that will begin to disappear as the original pain is resolved.