Three strange but true criminal law stories from abroad

GERMANY: BUSTED! It has been reported that the well-endowed mistress of a professional allegedly tried to kill him with her breasts. His jealous girlfriend allegedly tried to smother him with her 38DD breasts because she said she wanted to make his death “as pleasant as possible,” authorities say. She was charged with attempted murder. This was in 2012.

This little report raises many questions. Was the attempted murder committed in bed? Were the parties dressed or naked? Had the professional been unfaithful to him with some other woman next to his loving chest? What was the motive for the assassination attempt? Finally, since “malice” is required for every murder or attempted murder, the facts in this document show “malice”, as she allegedly said she wanted to make his death “as pleasant as possible”. Such evidence sounds only like attempted murder. There is not enough evidence of attempted murder here, still, what a way to go …

ITALY: Sensual sun protection? In 2011, a woman was arrested on an Italian beach topless for rubbing on sunscreen in “too sensual a way.” This violation was reported to the police by a mother who had taken her two adolescent children to the beach. The mother was surprised by the demonstration of public use of sunscreen by the other woman and filed a complaint for lewdness against the woman for an act of “extreme sensuality.”

This little report also requires some answers to relevant questions from the Italian authorities about this incident: 1) why would a mother take not one, but two, teenage sons to a beach topless? 2) what distinguishes “sensuality” from “extreme sensuality”; finally, 3) When did “extreme sensuality” become a crime? Inquiring minds would like to know.

SWEDEN: We wonder what her husband would have done to her. In 2012, a woman admitted to stabbing her husband to death with a fillet knife that she had received as a Christmas gift from her employer. She maintains that the stabbing was in self-defense. Swedish police said that after the attack on her husband, the 42-year-old victim wrote a strange note to her boss saying, “Thanks for the Christmas present … By the way, it worked!”

The words of the note may have provided evidence of a conspiracy between the woman and her employer. A conspiracy is defined as an agreement, express or implied, between two or more persons to commit an act that is illegal and at least one of the conspirators performs an overt act in support of the conspiracy. Could this have been the case? Inquiring minds would like to know.

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