Most of us believe that children are the most important asset in our lives. They represent our love, our future and, for many of us, our greatest achievement. We want to protect them in all ways, and their happiness, health and education are paramount concerns. So how can children help us make divorce decisions that relate specifically to them?

Listen to your children

Almost any teacher or psychologist will tell you that one of the most important things you can do with your child is listen to him. Children can tell us what they want and need, we just have to ask and then listen to their answer. Even the youngest children may be able to express their wishes. Of course, the age of the child is a deciding factor in how much information a child can bring to court. In California, most courts accept the age of 14 as the age at which a child can go to court (as long as the court has decided that it is in the best interest of the child) to express their preferences regarding custody and visits.

Make a parenting plan

Making a parenting plan is a good way to make decisions about children. Parents work together on the plan and may want to include their children, where appropriate. The plan should include legal custody, physical custody, and parenting time (timeshare or visitation); You must specify whether legal and physical custody is joint (both parents share responsibilities) or sole (one parent has full responsibility). Doing it on your own is great if the two of you can agree on issues, but if you can’t, an experienced mediator can help you resolve any disagreements about custody, childcare, and support, in an atmosphere that supports love. and family commitment.

Child support

Federal tax regulations are very clear when it comes to child support and taxes. For federal income tax purposes, child support is always tax-free. This means that neither the custodial parent who receives the child support payments, nor the child, owe taxes on those payments. As for the non-custodial parent who makes the child support payments, they are not classified as tax deductible. A very important consideration for custodial parents is making sure those monthly payments are specifically designated as “child support” in the final divorce agreement, also known as a marital separation agreement (MSA). Child support payments must be completely separate from spousal support payments and should not be grouped together as “family support.” This is an important step to take for one main reason: While child support is tax deductible, spousal support is considered income and is taxable. The final agreement between the parents should be very clear in identifying which payments are for child support and which are for spousal support, so that custodial parents do not experience unnecessary tax burdens.